So after the usual retarded unnecessary bullshit elevator sequence upon completion of the third stage, there's... a little bonus scene. Now, apparently the purpose of this part is to make your way from one building to the next.... which is done by jumping on clouds as platforms. Okay. Note that this is the only time in the entire game which is played out from a horizontal-view perspective, too. And if you mess up and fall... your character starts to plummet down slowly. REALLY SLOWLY. It's as if the regular laws of gravity no longer apply when you're in the Asylum. But right when it looks like you'll be falling to your death for sure... a huge bat comes flying out of nowhere to pick up your character and take you to the next building/level. Thereby making this entire scene... COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY WORTHLESS AND UNNECESSARY. I mean, if you use mad cloud jumping skillz to get to the top, great... and if you fall, who cares? You'll get saved by the bat, and in a rare moment of generosity, the game won't take away a life! So unless there's something else I'm missing here, this part of the game is nothing more than a feeble attempt to add some variety. Well, I'll give you a gold star for effort, Leland! You game designers are truly SPECIAL, yes you are! Mommy and Daddy must be so proud!
Anyways, the fourth level is called "Cultcorp"... I guess cults are becoming a lot more organized and professional these days. This also happens to be the level in which I said "WHAT THE FUCK" the most. Observe.
"Waiting room" area with a few people that have been waiting so long that cobwebs started growing on them! And one of them turned into a skeleton! Well, I guess it's kinda funny... I guess...
That's a killer vacuum cleaner at the bottom-right. Get near it and it sucks you up and kills you instantly (big surprise). And the guy sitting at his desk is actually firing darts at an offscreen dartboard. It goes without saying that darts getting thrown around are going to hurt you if you get in the way.
A pool of coffee. Huh?
Simply incredible. An "Office Supply" area fires a constant stream of gigantic pencils haphazardly. I can't even begin to think of a logical explanation for this, so let's just move on. (and the pencils do enough damage to kill you instantly most of the time too. Fantastic)
Three magic toilets? Whatever, after all the bullshit that's been thrown at you lately, just one magic toilet is a welcome sight.
...but when you approach one of them, some random guy appears on the toilet and towel whips you. Okay, that's just mean. Who are the assholes that are coming up with these diabolical ideas?
I have no idea who these people sitting at the desk are supposed to be, but I do know this much - if you dilly-dally when you're running by the desk, pieces of it extend out to smash you and.... kill you instantly. I think I've said "kill you instantly" too many times during the course of this "review".
Mr. G actually shows up at the end of the level, but then escapes to his "penthouse". Hooray, only one more level of this madness! The pain is almost over!
It seems that Mr. G's penthouse has an indoor bowling alley. Too bad there's a couple people using it at the moment. I don't think it should come as any sort of a shock that getting hit by a bowling ball or flying pins will do damage, of course.
Snakes coming out of a bowl of food (spaghetti?). Whatthefuckever.
The final battle! Exciting! Especially since Mr. G tends to just sit there and not do anything, so you can just shoot him to death! What a fitting end.
Except it's not over yet, you still have to jump into the spaceship to escape. And you can't even get there without some more traps in your way, namely the blue electrified panels separating the rooms, and a random flamethrower... it's like the programmers wanted to give one last "Fuck you" when it looked like the game was almost over. Well, fuck you too.
Activate the lever in the spaceship and you escape the Asylum. With an extremely half-assed ending as your reward for having to use countless continues just to reach the end. If I had actually played this in an arcade, I'd be feeling very ripped off right about now.
Well, Leland tried, and they used a lot of... umm... original ideas in this game, I'll give them that. But the nonstop infuriating traps and shitty graphics were no doubt a deterrent to the brave souls that actually played this game when it went on location test (if it even did test, that is. If ANYONE has any information regarding the testing/cancellation of the game, please email me! I really am curious to hear about how this train wreck unfolded). I do have to say that I'm glad the game was emulated though, as it's always fun taking a look at games that most of the public never got to see. And it's unlikely that we'll ever see another game with magic toilets in our lifetimes. Such a pity.
But wait, this isn't over yet... wouldn't you like the chance to win a free t-shirt featuring this shitty game on it? I know I would!